The 2008 Reading Open festivities got underway on Thursday July 17^th as Witzee and the North Carolina crew (Donna, L’il Witzee and Clay) pulled in from NC at about 8 PM.  Just a few beers a  kids Texas Hold ‘em (yes, l’il witzee was the first one out).  Pops strolled into the house on Friday at about noon and the party was officially underway.  We loaded up the coolers and headed for the beautiful Twin Ponds Country Club only to find out that dope Kyle couldn’t make it cause when he tried to call out sick his boss told him “If you don’t show up, you’re fired.”  And instead of being a man and telling his boss “You can’t fire me; cause I just quit”  he whimpered into work like a little mouse – and I thought he was some kind of tough guy or something.  Nine of us  arrived for the Pro-am (and Burnzee made it 10 when he snuck in at the last minute  and the 4 kids (Craig, Christian, Clay, Shane) went off first playing a 2 man scramble.  Then there was supposed to be 2 threesomes schramble  (Luke, Witz and Sweat; Pops, Josey and Burnzee)  but Josey jumped ship and joined sweat in an effort to help save the environment by using one less cart – he’s good like that.  By the 9^th hole, the New York/connecticut contingent (Yose, Grappo, and smoothie) arrived  and jumped right in with the Burnzee/Pops group and hardly slowed down the course at all.  After finishing, nobody knew who won cause each 4-some was playing a different format. 

 Back to the house and 70 pounds of ice later (thanks Ohare) the beer and strombolis were flowing and the basement was being set up for the Poker Tourney.  Mark Manchild showed up with his fancy poker table (big mistake with this crew) and its stick resistant felt at about 7:30 and the game got underway.  L’il Witzee defended his title as he was the first one out again this year and as unlikely as it seems his Dad wouldn’t provide the cash for him to buy back in – shocking, I tell you.  Unfortunately another young punk won the tourney for the second year in a row – click here for all the poker happenings.  After poker everyone went out back to smoke cigars and wonder why yose wasn’t wearing a shirt.  Smoothie and Pops talked men’s fast pitch softball - what are they gay or something – for what seemed like hours and then pops got all choked up, as he received his lifetime achievement award for dedication to the Reading Open.   Things started to break up and Ohare hit the tent in the back yard to get some sleep but Witzee and Josey couldn’t resist throwing empty beer bottles at the tent and Grappo was getting angry but things finally settled down and all went to bed. 

On Saturday morning, the crew headed over to the course at around 8:30 for some breakfast and Bloody Mary’s.  By 9:40, the first group teed off and l’il Witzee and the who's your daddy 4-some had asked “when are we teeing off” at least 25 times.  Cousin jimi in the second 4-some arrived fashionably late and almost missed his tee time – again.  Even Bigtime Davey-boy made an appearance (after choking up in last year's play-off) and teed off hole 1 with Luke's 4-some and they actually used his tee shot on the way to a birdie.    Everything else went off smoothly (no, not smoothie) and the groups zipped through the course with out many problems – in fact there was even a little time to do some fishing.  Donna (witzee’s bee-atch) did a great job on the beer cart and even carried food around to hungry golfers.  However all this work left her little time to wash witzee’s balls.   Burnzee teamed up with the 3 Oshea boys and had the round of his life single handedly carrying the squad into negative numbers.  Pete repeat, 2-time defending champion, was teamed up with the Rat (and Shane and Christian) in what should have been an easy win but Rat brought Pete’s level of play well down and and his chance to three-peat vanished as they carded a meager minus 5.   The Taxman and Son Diamonds teamed up with the Cool Guys (Little Jimmy and little little jimmy) to card a very respectable (and high) 4 over tying the Howard boys/Security boy 3-some.  In other news $4 was raised for the "Help Halfy" Defense Fund. The closest to the pin Winners were as follows:

Long Drive Winners 

 Other Prizes 

Money Holes 

The Big Winners 

And now for the Greater Reading Open Champions.  Well there was a tie with 2 teams at 7 under – a weak score with the ideal playing conditions out there.  It was time for a playoff on hole number 15 as the Rookies (Manchild, Joey the rat Pyott, Coach Detweiler, and Stick Stick) Took on the drunken and muscular Clemens Boys (Ringer, Bill and Pretty Boy) plus blondie McGarrity.  The rookies had 2 golfers blast drives to the fringe of the green while the Clemens gang choked up with there best drive being a 150 yard pop up behind a tree.  The Clemens then dropped their second shot on the fringe and it looked like the Rookies had the game in hand.  However, 4 bad chips later the rookies stood 7 feet from birdie and the Clemens chipped their shot to gimmee range.  Stick, Da rat, and Da coach all badly missed the 7 foot putt and a refreshed Manchild (he was the only one to employ  a caddie- well he didn't actually pay anyone) stepped up and dropped the putt to bring home the championship trophy.  

After the awards some of the gang hung around at the pavilion doing shots and then the party went back to the Howard Dump where the party host turned into a party animal.    Witzee joined in the fray and later that night he  and Josey teamed up to pull Grappo out of the tent for more antics.  Smoothie locked himself in the back bedroom and wondered why he heard RIck Springfield's "Jesse's Girl" at more than 20 times.  Can't wait to do it all over again next year!!

25th Annual Greater Reading Open 

Saturday, July 18th, 2009 

Mark your calendars now!

Send money ASAP