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2004 RESULTS

 

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The 20th annual Reading Open was a great success drawing players from all over the globe – raff from Florida, sko from Rochester, Denny and his helper from Ocean City, MD, the Rat family from picksberg, Pops from Maryland, cuz Jimi from Jersey , Joe Camels from Delaware, cripple Polins from physical therapy, Dean from incarceration, Burnzee from the DNC, the Hamilton Burger of Delaware county, Steve “phantom” Burns from who knows where, Dave E-Boy from the BigTime and Hinkle from his 5th trip to rehab. Other people were there too. But the big news is POPS wins Senior Division with a score of … well, him and wolfie lost the card. In other news Craig "who invited you” Gaul won the championship with an even par 70 – what a show-off.

Things started off with a bang at the pro/am on Friday as 9 golfers braved the tough conditions at the Twin Ponds country club – some even cocky enough to play from the white tees. Luke and Pops played a head to head match with luke crushing the old fella and taking to calling him “crime” - cause crime don’t pay. Tuze and Bill Donovan won the “Patience of Job” award having to play in a very “deliberate” 4-some that had to let broads play through. After golf, we went back to luke’s for stromboli and cocktails and the next thing you know a poker game broke out as josey and Sweat howard made the scene. After Denny’s Helper lost all his money, he took a nap and dreamed about Al’s naked joint - kids don't give up your dreams cause dreams do come true!!

Before getting to the activities on Saturday I'd like to give a special thanks to all who pitched in and helped out as Karen was not feeling well on Saturday. Nancy did a great job on the grill, pops showed remarkable inguinuity in opening sauerkraut, Cousin jimi did double duty as pig boy and camera man, burnzee drank a lot, Rat and wolfie delivered on time, Chaz entertained the kids with a magic show, Ads did the accounting, Liser and Barb helped with food prep, and Liz made Pops day by just showing up (and she served shots too). I’m sure I missed some other great helpers (sorry) – thank you and come again.

The meet the players cocktail party got off to a slow start as only 2 damn republicans made the 8:30 start but the place soon started to fill up. Big tom Casey was sporting his 1988 winners jacket ( and still looking quite dapper I might add) and hinkle showed up in a different color tank top and claimed the last to pay award. After hearing reports that Liz would not be appearing as shot girl, hinkle was momentary depressed but quickly moved on to the next contestant. After a relatively quick 5 hour round it was time for the severely over rated award ceremony.

Rich Devices dungan won the 1st to pay and was awarded a pair of game worn surgical scrubs – Charlie “the butcher” lutz won second to pay and received a nice golf shirt. Pops received a special award for being the greatest softball coach ever cause his wife threw out the last award he got that said Pops – You Idiot!  Hinkle won the most improved award by cut his round down from 6 ½ hours to 5 hours. Big Al Humes won the comeback player as he was present for the inaugural reading open but hadn’t returned until now - it was deemed to be in bad taste to bring up the reason for his absence. Professor Phil won the excellence in teaching award for keeping Luke in training so he can stay on unemployment and milk the system. In the skills competition, the drunk eagle – joe Donahue just about hit the center line and won a cheap tee shirt. On hole #6 Lori swan won the long drive and got to sit on hinkles lap for her award. Big Tom Casey won the long drive on #14. Raff won the longest drive even though he flew in from florida – he got a shirt I’m sure he’ll never wear.

Judy won the most honest golfer with a par on the front and 2 under on the back for a grand total of 138 - a modern day reading open record.

Tough Guy dean Tice won the longest putt award but only because wolfie got in pops head.

Ctp #2 – Tom Matusack
CTP # 5 – AL – meats little buddy
CTP #11 – Bill “flush this”Donovan
Ctp #13 Mark “I was robed” patterson

Drive the green on #8 – Denny’s little helper hit the fringe so we rewarded him with an AL’s naked joint tee shirt.

Now for the money holes and things went as predicted.

Luke’s brother Jim won 50 large for #15 CTP on second shot at 52”. Mark Patterson won 50 large on #9 and Luke’s brother-in-law Dave E-BOY took the 100 large on #18 at 121 inches or feet or something. Luke didn’t have the money on him but he’s good for it.

Dave E-BOY was also welcomed into the champions club and was awarded a Reading Open Golf shirt for a championship he won 8 years ago  - it's the only reason he showed up at all.

The junior championship ws won by Brenda Clemens at 134 cause Ben “golf camp” polins had his eligibility stripped after competing for WYO.

Judy “bill’s dame” Gentile won the women’s senior championship with a 138 – making her the only champion to also win most honest golfer.

Pops won the men’s senior division with a score of … well he lost his card but he swears he won and wolfie backed him up so what can you do.

Kevin “o’rafferty” factor won the low net at 63 although he rarely played his own ball and was only 7 strokes higher than the actual low gross.

Rat added another “country club” division championship to his resume as he got little competition from “Country club” Ads, cuzzin jimi “no-past”, and Dave E-BOY brennan.

And if you made it this far, Craig “its my year” Gaul won the Open Championship shooting even par’ the damned show-off!!

See you next year!!  And remember it's never to early to pay!!


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