Burnsie scored what he thought was the first ever eagle in Reading open history by holing out from 100 yards on #12 (it was probably after a mulligan on the tee).  But a rigorous search of the archives revealed an eagle 3 in 1996 on hole #6 by John Miles.  When informed of this, burnsie  said "If I couldn't be  first, I'm just glad it was miles - I love that guy".

Before getting into any more of the results I would again ask everyone to take a moment of silence for one of our fallen comrades.  Pops de Leon has been diagnosed as having an acute case of severely hurt feelings and missed his first Reading Open in 10 years.  Please include Pops in your prayers and in lieu of flowers please send donations to the "save the Pops" fund.  Let's hope they can find a cure for this crippling decease so that we can see Pops at next year's Open.  Click here for the tribute to pops page.

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In more upbeat news, witzee wins the drive the green contest on hole #8 even though the contest was on hole # 7.  Wally gator is the first to win 2 money holes (reports indicate he was popping steroids before the Tee Shots) by getting closest to the pin on #9 (13 feet - are you kidding me?) and on #18 (7 feet) collecting almost $200.  Of course a family member (Brother Jim) won the other money hole for the 17th year in a row - closest to the pin, second shot on hole #15.  Jim collected upwards of $50.

Keeping with the tradition of giving the impression that the tournament is fixed, Witzee picked up 2 other prizes.  In  winning the unadvertised long drive (he drove 473 miles from NC)  on #17, the witz picked up a sharp golf shirt, and then collected a huge closest to pin trophy for dropping one within 3 feet on #11 - yeah you guessed it - he missed the putt.  Bill Clemens sets the record for "ice water in the veins" by dropping three balls in the water off the first tee and Tanya obliterated Hinkle's record 13 on #14 with an astounding 20. 

Of course the Steve burns 4-some shows up extremely late and with out steve burns.  And in a strange twist of fate , they  (as the last 4-some) actually remember to bring in the closets to the pin markers and most of the money from the money bucket.   Jack the Hack also shows up late and forces the witzee/luke homo group to be pushed back to the end of the tournament.

L'il Brainiac polins gets smoked by his old man, even though the old man looked horrible - he blamed it on the slow "co-op 4-some" in front of him. The mouse brothers set up their own bar in the back of the cart and were last seen drinking grey goose cosmopolitans out of fancy glasses near hole #12.

Once again the awards ceremony went off without a hitch.  Bill oshea won "first to pay" award with his early February payment.  He was awarded a golf shirt and hat along with a dozen golf balls - Burnsie picked up the prize for him.

Devices won the award for "first to Pay after the open was announced"  - he was prohibited from prizes for failing to bring devices for 2 years in a row.

Aquavelva won the long drive on #6 and Jimi No past won the long drive on #14.  Witzee won the long drive on #17 that no body else knew about.

Witzee also won the drive the green contest even though he was not as close as bobby Clemens - see it pays to go off later in the tournament. 

Derek The SHO boy won the newest award (2 day total score - pro/am and reading open) and was awarded a beautiful slightly worn winter jacket (he is from buffalo).  He apparently lost the jacket the next week in the back of some sleazy broad's car.

Tanya edged out joe mcguire as most honest golfer with a record 143 - good thing the cappo scoring system was in effect or we might still be out on the course.  Mcguire was not to leave empty handed as he won the trophy for biggest hazard on the course as he inflicted 3 severe cases of cauliflower ear on his playing partners.

Phil "no last name"came in second in longest putt but the 1st place person wasn't there so he picked of a sleeve of those $5 miga balls (titlest sv-1).

Closest to the pin winners were

#2 wolshit - he forgot this wasn't the money hole
#5 - sko - they didn't have a measuring stick so he estimated about 5 Ft.
#11 - witz - Within 3 feet - then misses the putt
#13 - john mcdevitt - after finishing his grey goose cosmopolitan on the tee box

On the money holes:

#9 - gator hits 13 feet and nobody can beat him - how pathetic!!#15 - second shot - Brother jim - 3 feet,  #18 - gator  - 7 feet - witz was 8 feet and didn't believe gator because he has seen him play before

The women's division first runner goes to up bec the co-op with an estimated 125 ( SHO boy Derek lost the card - this could invalidate the hole statistic data.

Donohue wins her second  women's championship with a 106 apparently having great success with wolfie's tool.

Young mguire's buddy fulmer wins  jtr division champion ship mostly because nobody was there to verify score and also because last years champ li;l polins choked badly - by he way - he will need to get the trophy re-engrved

Stats wins another elite dicvision title with a 77 - he is the only one in the category as rat, ads, daveyboy, pw  hooven, brainiac and other tough guys failed to show as they are scared of stats.

Jack the hack wins the low net (even though he was far from the low score) just to show that the tournament is not fixed.

Aquavelva wins the "first loser award" for choking in the playoff and is awarded a coaches soccer shirt that is identical to the one he is wearing.

And last but not least, it is a surprising Cousin  Jimi No past that dons the coveted vest ( we can no longer spring for the entire jacket) and drinks from the coveted ( an engraved) cup.  And Jim's win gives hope to all of us - it wasn't so long ago that "no past"  was challenging for the most honest golfer award

That's all for now  - next year the reading open will be July 20, 2002  - start planning now and remember it's never to early to pay!!!

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